The
Devil's Reviews

Porky's Revenge

I know this is a teen sex comedy.  It says so on the box.  And as a sequel (well, second sequel, so you know it's gotta be good...) to the seminal '80s teen sex comedy, Porky's, what else could it be? But then it should have some sex and some comedy.  It has neither.  Hell, it doesn't even have teens.

It's the '50s in Angel Beach Florida...again.  The boys who destroyed Porky's club in the first film and for some reason didn't see the fat man at all in the second, are back, for the most part.  It's near the end of the school year and the 30-year-old-and-looking-it high schoolers are preparing for graduation and the big basketball game.  They have several problems getting to both of the those events, none of which are interesting enough to mention, that put the boys back in conflict with Porky, which isn't interesting either.  Porky now runs a riverboat gambling racket and has a daughter with a hot body and bad teeth, which enters into the story, but, like just about everything else, isn't very interesting.

With original writer/director Bob Clark cleverly sitting this one out, the new team decided what everyone wants in a Porky's film is plot. Lots of plot. Of course that plot means nothing, but we still get lots of it. I could have sworn (and I'm excellent at swearing) that the idea was to focus on what teenagers really think about (that is, sex) and show some tits, ass, and fucking, wrapped up in comedy. But no. Apparently what really matters is a basketball game. Yeah.

As for the tits, there's a few flashes from anonymous babes, a slightly longer display (longer, as in 1 second) from Playboy playmate Kim Evenson, who does nothing else in the film, and a moment or two from Rose McVeigh as Miss Webster, the biology teacher.  Her main function is to dislike the basketball team for no particular reason.  She's also the only one who gets laid, though we just see the buildup.  She has a healthy libido and a closet full of sex toys.  Maybe the movie should have been about her.

The only asses on display (besides the writer and director), belong to the aged male students.  Since their mooning is always meant as a joke (not a funny joke), there isn't even anything to titillate the few female heterosexuals and male homosexuals who accidentally pick up this movie.

Sure, no one involved with this film was in it for art's sake, but it would have been nice if someone had cared about what was being shot.  This is a tired movie and everyone knew it.  The actors were there for the paycheck, which is fine except it shows up on the screen.  There are plenty of teen sex comedies to choose from.  Choose another.  

Sins (What does this mean?)

Pride	There's nothing to be proud of here.
Sloth	Nada.
Avarice	Nada.
Gluttony	Nada.
Aesthetics	Nada.
Surrogate Cruelty	The boys mess up Porky's ship...Nah, there's really not much here.
Thought	Not a brain cell in sight.
Humor	Would have been nice.
Lust	Less nudity than there ought to be, and most of it consists of the asses of over-aged, male, high schoolers.  At least the biology teacher knows how to have fun.