Roger Moore — The Debonair Bond
Read my overview of the James Bond franchise
Roger Moore was in the running for Bond from the start, either due to the producer's interest or novelist Ian Fleming's—it is unclear now and people tell conflicting stories. No one mentioned it to Moore and he took the title role in The Saint television series. He ended up as the third man to play the part—second if you prefer to classify Lazenby's appearance as an aberration that has nothing to do with the real 007, or fifth if you wish to include the American TV movie and the spoof.
Handsome and chic, Moore's Bond is much like Connery's (particularly when you compare them to the others). He is a man who sins and loves it. Unapologetic, he drinks, gambles, eats rich foods, and fucks as many women as he can, and does it all with gusto. His intelligence and education are easy to detect, as is his wry sense of humor. He seems gentler than Connery's version, although that's only because he also seems to be more elegant and refined. Like his predecessor (his real predecessor) he is capable of killing a helpless opponent, and does so multiple times. Perhaps the greatest difference between his Bond and Connery's is in life expectancy. Moore's version is more of a super spy. It is inconceivable that anything will ever take him out. Connery's was always a little suicidal and would take risks for the Hell of it, not caring that eventually, he'd slip and that would be it. Moore's Bond never takes risks because he's just that good. What would be a risk for him? This is the James Bond all males want to be, unless you live by the credo: Die young, stay pretty. If you want to live a great life and go out in a blaze of glory, Connery's Bond is your man. If you want to live a great life, and keep on living it even as you slow down, Moore's Bond is the guy.
The Moore films, unlike Connery's, are consistent in tone and quality. His lesser outings aren't lacking because of huge mistakes, but because they are tired. No Moore film is bad, though one or two can be considered unnecessary. They are all action or action/adventure movies—not dramas or melodramas. They are pure entertainment (although the message of the joy of sinning is always evident).
The Moore films are:
- Live and Let Die
- The Man with the Golden Gun
- The Spy Who Loved Me
- Moonraker
- For Your Eyes Only
- Octopussy
- A View to a Kill
Live and Let Die
The Devil Says
See It
Has Bond ever been more...Bond? Looking young again (Moore is older than Connery, but in 1973, looked younger), Bond is suave and unflappable. He has sex with every woman he meets and kills the enemy, sometimes unnecessarily. Yeah, that's my Bond. But this isn't just a revitalized Bond. No, this is Bond in blaxploitation land. The whitest of white secret agents meets black street culture. There are pimps and hip cats, sisters with afros, wild wardrobes, and urban lingo. There's a pimpmobile and loads of drugs. And there's a long visit to Harlem. OK, this isn't even close to blaxploitation and I saw the clothes and heard the slang on the streets back in the '70s, but for most of white America, this is blaxploitation. That's alright, the poor little dears just don't know any better and the film is pretty cool.
Gadgets | Average. |
Absurdity of evil plot | Average |
Killer fish | Close enough |
Bond is sent to investigate the deaths of three agents. He finds that they are all connected to a Harlem crime boss and to Dr. Kananga, the leader of a Caribbean Island. After a none-too-successful attempt to pass unnoticed at an all black club, he heads to the islands where he finally gets some black tail. He also learns that Kananga relies on a hot white virgin fortune teller and decides she's the one to pump for information, Bond-style.
This is pure fun Bond. It has THE cinematic boat chase until The World is Not Enough and all the firefights the franchise is known for. But what won me over to this new Bond was how elegant he is while never coming close to being a gentleman. Bond is colder than he's ever been before. He fucks a girl after he's figured out she's on the other side, and when he's done, he sticks a gun in her ribs. He wasn't trying to delay her or win her over. He just wanted a quick fuck before getting down to business. She reacts to his death threat by squeaking out in disbelief, "You wouldn't, you couldn't. Not after what we've just done." To which he replies, "Well, I wouldn't have done it before." Beautiful. Similarly, with Solitaire, who values her maidenhead as the key to her prophetic abilities, Bond tricks her into spreading her legs with a fixed deck of cards. Not exactly the actions of a 1940s or '50s screen hero. Ah, but who can blame him? Jane Seymour is lovely, and Solitaire is the greatest of the babe-in-distress Bond girls.
He isn't any kinder to the guys. Did he need to kill the villain who was stuck to the window? No, but then, he wanted to, and we, watching, wanted him to.
Following the fads: Blaxploitation hitting the mainstream, spiritualism, tarot cards, hang gliders.
Sins (What does this mean?)
Pride | Bond at his most self-assured. |
Sloth | Nada. |
Avarice | Nothing too opulent, but Bond doesn't scrimp. The house on the hill is worth desiring. |
Gluttony | Good wine, bourbon, and cigars, but little else. |
Wrath | Anger gives Bond a boost in his train fight, but Moore's Bond is a bit less easy to upset than Connery's. Shootings, car crashes, a few beatings, and a guy blows up. Plus, Bond's a bit hard on the ladies. |
Beauty | Jane Seymour is lovely. The travelogue is more extensive than normal but the locations aren't quite so magical. |
Thought | Bond doesn't hide his intelligence. |
Humor | The usual one-liners, plus a sex farce at the beginning and a long comedy bit with a red-neck sheriff. |
Lust | Bond again is an icon for free and easy sex. He
fucks an allied agent purely for fun, a traitor before
turning on her, and a partial enemy to gain power over
her. Gloria Hendry looks great in a bikini and Jane
Seymour looks great in everything. Solitaire is a better spokesperson for the sin that Bond. Once she's gets some, she wants a lot more. She stops Bond from heading off on spy business for a quickie. When offered the opportunity to go any where in the world, she says it doesn't matter as long as there's a bed. That's my kind of girl. |
The Man With The Golden Gun
The Devil Says
See It
(But don't rush)
With multiple first rate moments, plenty of sinning, and beautiful cinematography, The Man With The Golden Gun should have been one of Moore's best; instead it is one of his weakest. Luckily, that still makes it far better than A View to a Kill and generally fun.
Gadgets | Average |
Absurdity of evil plot | Average |
Killer fish | Nope |
Informed that Francisco Scaramanga, the greatest assassin in the world, is targeting him, James Bond heads to the Far East to get him first. Along the way, he discovers that Scaramanga is involved in a scheme to steal a vital piece of solar energy technology. Helping 007 is Mary Goodnight (a nearly useless agent), Andrea Anders (Scaramanga's mistress), and Sheriff J.W. Pepper.
The writers and directors were not comfortable with their new Bond yet, constructing The Man With The Golden Gun for Connery's Bond, and then over compensating. After a Ratpack-era theme song (a trademark of Connery's films), Bond bullies a gun-maker and slaps a girl—you don't get much more Connery than that. The film is a dual between two testosterone-fueled assassins, which screams out Connery. But then there's Nick Nack (and his fate), the hick sheriff, and the school girl karate experts, all of which would be out of place in Dr. No. Those elements aren't bad (the school girls may be the high point of the film), they just don't fit in. Then there is the double main plot: James must stop the assassin Scaramanga and James must stop the mad scientist Scaramanga's death ray. This time, both would fit equally well in a Connery movie (or a Moore movie), but not simultaneously. Scaramanga's personality even changes depending on which plot he's in at the moment. As an assassin, he's brutal and cruel, which is best demonstrated by his treatment of his mistress. At those times he is the creepiest of all Bond villains. But as a man with a desire for world power, he's a comic book character.
There are two good movies here (well, one good one and one humorous one about yet another super-weapon), and both are filled with sinning. Too bad it's only supposed to be a single film.
Following the fads: The energy crisis and martial arts flicks.
Sins (What does this mean?)
Pride | It's a battle of Pride verse vanity. Pride wins. |
Sloth | Nada. |
Avarice | Both Scaramanga and brief co-villain Hai Fat live well. Both have fabulous homes decked out with the finest things. Scaramanga has his own island which would make a perfect retirement site for anyone. It would be nice to have all that, but there are multiple other Bond villains that live better. |
Gluttony | 007 eats and drinks well, and points out poor quality consumables. |
Wrath | Assassinations, martial arts combat, and Bond slaps around Maud Adams. Bond shows much more anger than is normal, and while it doesn't seem to harm him, it also doesn't help. |
Beauty | The islands around Thailand are spectacular and shot well. The costumes are pretty, and the two Bond girls are, as always, worth gazing at. |
Thought | It's clear again that intelligence is part of what
makes James cool, and being stupid, like Miss Goodnight
and the red neck Sheriff, is not desirable. Bond spouts
off a lot of "science" in this one, for whatever that
might suggest. We also learn that the helium kept in large relatively open vats must be kept at absolute zero and that a human body falling into a vat will rise the temp above absolute zero in five minutes. OK, that's all painful. No working on the script knew what absolute zero is, but I can promise you the helium was not at it. That sort of scientific failing is just dim. |
Humor | Many light moments, with three comic relief characters, which is easily one too many. To go with the many more-or-less funny bits there are a gaggle of failed attempts, such as the famed slide-whistle during the car jump. The "midget in a suitcase" gag also fails as Humor and edges toward offensive, and I'm hard to offend. |
Lust | "You can have me too, if you like. I'm not unattractive."
Could any man resist that? So with two girls who want to give themselves to Bond, belly dancing, a lot of bikini shots, and fetishistic Asian uniformed schoolgirls, Lust is in the air. Maud Adams exudes sex. Unfortunately, while Britt Ekland has everything one could ask for physically, her character is considerably less sexy, unless you find stupid and clumsy exciting. |
The Spy Who Loved Me
The Devil Says
See It
After two relatively small stories, The Spy Who Loved Me returns to the epic Bond tales prevalent in the Connery years. There's a full on mad scientist with plans for world destruction. James Bond must travel the lands and under the seas to stop him. There's a strong echo of both Thunderball and You Only Live Twice although it isn't as outlandish as either. And we'd hear that echo again in Moonraker and Tomorrow Never Dies.
Gadgets | High |
Absurdity of evil plot | High |
Killer fish | Yup |
Like in You Only Live Twice a criminal mastermind is stealing large vessels from both the United States and the Soviet Union, and Bond, in Navy dress, stops off first at a submarine for his briefing. Our evil genius even repeats the killing of one of his own by dropping her into a pool of nasty fish. At least his goal has changed, coming from another film: to swipe a nuclear weapon (well, a couple of them). Yes, it is extremely familiar, but it is also fun.
Things start with sin and spectacle. The pre-credits sequence includes two sex scenes, attempted murder, death, and 007 skiing off a cliff only for the Union Jack to pop up and carry him to safety. That flows straight into the theme song (Nobody Does it Better; not one of the best, but far from the worst) where a line of nude, female, Russian soldiers (they're wearing their caps) march across the screen. Damn you've got to love the USSR after that.
That opening is an indicator of things to come. The action is spectacular, from one-on-one fights to a pitched battle between a submarine crew and the villain's army. Better, those nude Soviet silhouettes foreshadow Barbara Bach's sexy agent, Major Anya Amasova. She's the first of the strong Bond girls and it's an alluring change of pace. The Spy Who Loved Me changed the American image of Russian women and killed the over-used comic gag of "ugly Olgas."
Ocean-nut Karl Stromberg isn't a particularly memorable villain, but his henchman, Jaws, has personality to spare. He's huge, unstoppable, and has metal teeth that he uses to rip the flesh off of his victims, be they human or shark. Now that's an entertaining henchman.
Moore in top form, the beautiful Bach playing a confident woman, and a colorful assassin, all surrounded by extravagant violence, humor, and sex—yeah, this is one of the best.
Following the fads: Egyptology. Evil Soviets were still the rage, but general audiences were starting to think the two sides of the Iron Curtain weren't as different as had been suggested. And in a change of pace, this film created several fads: the interest in jet skis and hip hop grillz, that would not appear for years, but when they did, artists paid homage to Jaws.
Sins (What does this mean?)
Pride | Bond likes being Bond, and Major Amasova is happy with herself as well, though for once there's a bit of a question with Pride. Both Bond and Amasova compete and neither is pleased when they lose. Bond gets a bit huffy, which is out of character and out of sin. A bit more Pride would help them get over such silly vanity and allow them to work together better. |
Sloth | Nada. |
Avarice | A glance at the lifestyle of the Arab prince is all the proof anyone should need that money is good. It's not specified if the harem girls come with the title or money. |
Gluttony | Some find food and drink, though it isn't a major focus. Champagne pops us yet again. |
Wrath | The norm, plus after Bond gets the info he wants, he lets the helpless guy fall off a roof. Gotta love that. And a man with metal teeth ripping out a victim's throat is fun as well. At the end (this is a spoiler for anyone far out of the loop), Jaws survives and audiences loved it. They actually cheered. So, people cheered for the survival of the vicious, psychopathic murderer. And that's why surrogate cruelty is important. |
Beauty | Nice cinematography, beautiful Egyptian architecture, underwater photography that beats the Hell out of that in Thunderball, and Barbara Bach. Caroline Munro also brings beauty, but her appearance is far to brief. |
Thought | Bond is smarter than ever (and a little vain about it). |
Humor | A generally light tone with plenty of gags (though fewer one-liners than normal). |
Lust | We're in good shape. Both Bond and Amasova are introduced while having fun in bed (not with each other). Bond is offered a plaything for the night by the prince (he accepts). Women are constantly using their sexuality to get what they want (something Bond himself does as well). Several fems just want to occupy him for a time, while Amasova uses her assets for Mother Russia. |
Moonraker
The Devil Says
See It
It's Bond, in space.
Moonraker is often unfairly labeled the silliest film in the franchise (this is from people who haven't seen Thunderball, You Only Live Twice or On Her Majesty's Secret Service for a long time). It does have a light tone and it is more blatant with its science fiction elements, though there are several other Bond movies that are more fantastical.
Gadgets | High |
Absurdity of evil plot | Average |
Killer fish | Close Enough |
A space shuttle is stolen in transit to the UK and Agent 007 suspects the manufacturer, the eccentric Drax, of pilfering his own product. With a little help from Drax's sexy pilot Corinne Dufour and CIA operative Dr. Holly Goodhead, Bond discovers the plot, and ends up taking a shuttle ride in order to save the planet. Unfortunately for him, the hulking killer Jaws is back, and he's been paid to stop our hero.
Besides having some of the best action sequences of the series (the fight in free fall for the single parachute is a classic), Moonraker works because it knows what it is. There is no pretence that it is a deep, meaningful movie that will give us insight into the human condition. It's pure popcorn entertainment and the only message here is: It's good to be James Bond. Things blow up, people are kicked off cliffs, and a giant bites through a cable with his metallic teeth. That's a fun way to spend an afternoon.
On the downside, Holly Goodhead may have a great name, but she's not much of a Bond girl. She sits somewhere between bland and annoying, and while Lois Chiles is attractive, she doesn't show it off. Corinne Clery is much better as the secondary chick, but you know what happens to those girls in a Bond film. There's also the matter of the theme song, which is best forgotten; luckily, it's easy to forget. You also may find yourself wondering why characters are acting as they do in the first half.
Following the fads: This time the story is formed not just from cinematic trends, but from technological developments. The space-based plot owes a lot to the success of Star Wars and its many copies, but even more to the development of the new space shuttle. The filmmakers had hoped the release of the flick would correspond with the real world launch of the first shuttle. It didn't, and the Bond folks did it first. Also, hang gliders again.
Sins (What does this mean?)
Pride | As always, Bond demonstrates that Pride is the sin you need before engaging in all the others, and he's got an abundance of it. Drax operates on vanity and a god complex. |
Sloth | Nada. |
Avarice | We get a glimpse at what money can buy and it's pretty nice. Drax's chateau, flown in brick by brick from France, is magnificent. |
Gluttony | A little wine and a little champagne, but no gourmet meals. Bond even skips smoking. |
Wrath | Lots of death, with a higher body count than normal, but few of the deaths will get you worked up. |
Beauty | You'll see a lot of the world. Rio at Carnival has
much to offer, but Venice has even more, with the
natural beauty of the rain forest beating both. It is a
top Bond film for fabulous architecture,
new, old, and ancient. The humans on display are a comely lot. Drax's new master race might not be masters, but they are pretty. We have three Bond girls—Emily Bolton is the third who Bond takes up with in Rio between the other two—and while all are attractive, none truly shine. |
Thought | Bond displays his scientific know how, though pointing out what a shape shuttle can do doesn't impress me. While the film may stress the advantages of thinking, you shouldn't do much of it while watching. The science is...questionable. It isn't worse than in other films, but it is more front and center than most. When it gets to the point of simulating gravity with centrifugal force (which is going in the wrong directions and is on or off when you step through a door), just nod and go with it. Thinking will only hurt your brain. |
Humor | The usual one-liners, and more of them are funny than usual. Plus Jaws adds slap stick routines. Over all, this isn't a funny movie (as some critics will claim wanting to call it an action comedy) but simply a fun one. |
Lust | Bond gets three women, though the chemistry is non-existent with Holly Goodhead. Corinne Clery is quite stunning in her night gown but is on display too briefly. |
For Your Eye's Only
The Devil Says
See It
After the sci-fi and slap stick of Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only dials things down several notches, which is good or bad depending on how you felt about Moonraker. There is no super-villain in sight, nor are there lasers, rockets, or invisible cars. There are first class action scenes, an above average amount of tension, and, for a Bond film, some character development.
Gadgets | Low |
Absurdity of evil plot | Average |
Killer fish | Sharks Again |
England's lost an encryption device, and James Bond needs to get it back before a Greek smuggler can sell it to the Russians. Aiding him is hot-blooded Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet), who is out to avenge her parents' murder.
It's hard to get excited about the story. The goal is drab compared to saving the human race from annihilation as Bond has done so many times before. It doesn't help that pieces are plucked out of On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Nor that we have yet another impenetrable fortress that's not all that hard to penetrate. But then the plot is never the selling point in any Bond film. Which brings me to the blessing and curse of this film: It doesn't really have a selling point. No one gets too excited about it one way or the other. It is well made, with few things to drop it into anyone's bottom third, but nothing to elevate to the top. It is...nice. The action keeps things moving without ever being spectacular. The big bad is well acted and has enough character to place him somewhere in the lower middle of Bond villains. His henchmen are similar to ones we've seen before. The travelogue aspect is pleasant, though there's a lot less country-hopping than normal. We get mainly Greece (with some nice underwater shots filmed in the Bahamas).
Well, some Bond film had to be in the middle.
It doesn't help that this was an attempt to get a bit more serious. In Bond lingo, that doesn't mean actually serious, but less fantastical and comic. Whenever they do that, it makes their slips into absurdity stand out. This time those slips include the "Blofeld just hanging out on the roof top in his wheelchair" opening, Bibi the sixteen-year-old nympho (don't get me wrong—I'm all for sixteen-year-old nymphos, but comic bubbly ones...not so much), and the phone call to Margret Thatcher.
The one element that elevates For Your Eyes Only Bond girl Melina Havelock. Of course she's hot, but this time it's strong, self-assured, woman-type hot instead of "model who's just there to pose"-type hot. This isn't a one-night-stand chick. Carole Bouquet (dubbed as many were in the earlier days) may not display the greatest acting range, but she does know how to sizzle, and her eyes could capture any man. There's chemistry to spare between her and our hero, which is particularly noticeable after the chemistry low Moonraker.
Following the fads: Winter Olympic fever is evident on the screen.
Sins (What does this mean?)
Pride | It's good to be Bond, and he knows it. |
Sloth | Nada. |
Avarice | You wouldn't mind living like these people. The marine biologists have a fantastic boat (how much do they get paid?) and the smugglers both have fine digs. |
Gluttony | The food and drink is good, though more time is spent on ordering than eating. |
Wrath | A slightly more violent outing that includes Bond using his license to kill on a villain he would have let live in a weaker outing. There's some rewarding vengeance, though both Bond's speech and the villains death at the end feel like cop outs. |
Beauty | Nice scenery, particularly the ocean around Greece. And Carole Bouquet's eyes. |
Thought | Bond's a clever guy. He knows all the answers when needed, but again, Bond films rarely rate high on this sin. |
Humor | About average, with Lynn-Holly Johnson's boy-crazed teen skater played purely for laughs—I didn't. |
Lust | Bond gets several chicks. Cassandra Harris shows up in lingerie while Carole Bouquet has great legs in her swimwear. If you want a bit more, this is one of the few Bond films with bare female nipples outside of the credits. What's more, the nips pop out twice: once from an unnamed character and once from someone with multiple lines. I will let you find them on your own. |
Octopussy
The Devil Says
See It
How could I not love this film? It's titled Octopussy. I suppose they could have named it Sweet Cunt or Succulent Vagina, but Octopussy gets the point across. Of course the name is a tease, but that's the way of the Bond franchise.
Gadgets | Average |
Absurdity of evil plot | Average |
Killer fish | Many types |
The story's more-than-usually convoluted. A renegade Soviet general is secretly selling the Russian crown jewels and replacing them with fakes. When an imitation Faberge egg ends up in the hands of MI6, James Bond heads to the auction of the real piece and finds the disreputable Kamal Khan (Louis Jourdan) over-paying for the egg. Bond follows him to India where he must discover the connection between the Russian and Khan and figure how the mysterious smuggler Octopussy and her sisterhood are involved. It all makes sense in the end, but it might take an extra viewing to put it all together.
Octopussy is one of the better Bond films, but it is also off the mainstream, which hasn't made it a favorite amongst Bond purists. With its exotic locations, humorous tone, multiple villains and semi-villains, secret sects, and labyrinthine story that always makes it clear where the hero needs to go next, but not always why, Octopussy feels like an old serial. It belongs less with From Russia With Love than with Raiders of the Lost Arc. All Bond pics fall under the action heading, but this time the term adventure is more appropriate.
It is a movie that wows you with its fantastic stunts—better than the ones in the previous twelve films and in most that followed: a jet playing tag with a missile, a hunt on elephant back where Bond is the prey, a knife fight on top a moving train, wrestling outside of a plane in flight. I could go on but its better for you to watch them.
Topping the stunt-work are the women. Maud Adams is the primary Bond girl, a strong leader who's hot. She's joined by Kristina Wayborn as her acrobatic sidekick. Wayborn beds Bond, and then chooses the sexiest way to exit a room you're likely to find in film. But this is no two babe film. Octopussy commands a cult-like army of hot chicks (it's a fine world where every lost and confused woman on the sub-continent turns out to be a beauty) that all dress well, be it in translucent veils or skin tight circus jumpsuits. And these are appreciative girls. I love cults of sexually open babes.
Sins (What does this mean?)
Pride | As usual, Bond shows that Pride is cool. |
Sloth | Nada. |
Avarice | With money you can buy a palace. The three major
Indian buildings in the film are all owned by Mewar
royalty, which is why you want to be royalty. Bond stays
at the luxurious Hotel Shiv Niwas Palace, which screams
luxury, but is nothing next to Kamal Khan's mountain
villa (actually named Summer Palace), which in turn
pales compared to Octopussy's Floating Palace (in
reality the Taj Lake Palace in Lake Pichola). This is
opulence. There is also all the other benefits of wealth: servants, elephants, your own private barge rowed by beautiful women. The Russian crown jewels are also hanging around, and while nice, they don't really say much about living the good life. |
Gluttony | I'm up for celebrating all kinds of food that you humans devise from all over the world, but the dinner in this one I can skip. So does Bond. The champagne is nice, but as it is shared in bed in fine crystal, that bit of sinning is shared with Avarice and Lust. |
Beauty | Lovely travelogue footage of India. One of the most beautiful Bond films, with dramatic and intoxicating scenery. As mentioned above, the buildings are amazing. Truly works of art. The clothing, mainly on the women, are as lovely. And then there are the women themselves--so many and all of them worthy of adoration. |
Wraith | Bond produces another high body count, and his enemies do pretty well too. Nothing too intense. It's fun killings. |
Thought | You might exercise some brain cells working out the puzzle-like plot. |
Humor | More jokes than normal, with many double entendres: after sex, a nude woman holding a wine glass says, "I need a refill." A few of the gags drift into the silly (a Tarzan yell could be edited out even now), but most work, making this the funniest Bond film. Of note, their are clowns, but as is always the case, they are not funny. |
Lust | Many, many hot chicks in flattering outfits plus the first clear, brightly lit female nudity when
Maud Adams leaves her pool (it's seen from a distance).
A few more hot Indian girls would have been nice. For being set in India, the number of blondes is abnormal. Bond has two conquests, with a third implied, but less time is spent in bedding. Roger Moore's age may have been a factor in the director wanting to focus Lust more on the female forms than what is actually done with them. If your interest is in men, you may find things a bit lacking. |
A View to a Kill
The Devil Says
See It
(if it happens to be on cable)
Roger Moore is James Bond one too many times in this tired entry. Moore is too old to play the globe-trotting sex machine, but he's still the freshest thing about the movie. The script is an amalgamation of moments from previous outings, using Goldfinger to supply the plot (that and Superman). It isn't a bad film, just tepid.
Gadgets | Average |
Absurdity of evil plot | High |
Killer fish | Nope |
A magical computer chip leads Bond to the horse track for an extended segment which turns out to have nothing to do with the rest of the movie. After someone remembers that there should be some kind of story, Bond is off to California to foil the scheme of psychotic, Nazi-created, businessman Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) and his sidekick May Day (Grace Jones). Bond joins forces with geologist Stacey Sutton (Tanya Roberts). Jones verses Roberts? It doesn't look good for Bond.
You can't fault Walken in the weirdness category, and Jones adds some much needed savagery, but they never quite click. I kept thinking they should have been more entertaining. Patrick Macnee adds humor as Bond's part-time sidekick, but he was more fun as Steed on the Avengers.
Except for a blimp kidnapping (did you know it was easy to sneak up behind someone with a blimp?), nothing is too silly. The action set pieces entertain more-or-less, particularly a climactic fight on the Golden Gate Bridge. Just don't expect too much.
The one unquestionably bad choice was the casting of Tanya Roberts. She has some skill with comedy, but action/adventure is out of her range. She got by in Sheena with the help of her breasts, but she keeps her best assets covered here. If this had been the first Bond film with brightly lit full-frontal nudity, than Roberts might have made the movie something special. Instead we get her shouting out "James" over and over again. Was that dialog written down? And each time she sounds like what she needs isn't a super spy, but someone to bring her an inhaler.
Sins (What does this mean?)
Pride | James still likes being James, even as he gets older. |
Sloth | Nada. |
Avarice | You have to want to live in Zorin's house. The good life includes the races and the finest clothing. |
Gluttony | Bond does cook. |
Wrath | People get shot, blown up, drowned, hit with heavy objects, tossed off of bridges, and peppered with rock salt. Some of it feels pretty good. |
Beauty | Some nice architecture. |
Thought | James is still clever, but not much about the movie is. |
Humor | The ever-present one-liners are getting stale. |
Lust | Low. Bond in his '50s may need more recovery time. However, big points for his throwing himself naked into May Day's bed to explain why he wasn't in his own room when they were looking for him (he'd been...spying); bigger points to May Day for stripping down and jumping onboard. |